At the heart of what I’m learning in my life now is the difficulty & preciousness of truth. What’s sad is living amongst a society today that no longer believes in absolute truth but rather truth to be relative and subjective. We are content with truth formed from an individual’s opinion if and when those truths are difficult to understand. And even to those who value and struggle in this endeavor, very often it seems many will give up at the footstep of this unending pursuit.

Truth demands consistency. That’s why we have apology - a defense to the worldview we hold. However, when truth does not even hold value in one’s life, complacency or indifference is the reason why we no longer think with clarity & reason. Our concern for eternity and eternal truths have been suppressed by idolatry and pride. We suppress inconsistencies in moral standards, our innate understanding of love, & historical harmony for unbelief. We suppress inconsistencies in infallible scripture for traditions. We suppress inconsistencies from our exegesis in the very Bible we read for a more man-centered gospel and more man-centered truths to appeal to what man would like to hear.

In the end, the question is always why struggle with truth? Why struggle with what seems to be perhaps most difficult in life — why strive to know Him?

I think for me, it’s this very struggle that continues to bring me to my knees…in awe, in amazement of who God is. And though there’s much I still have yet to understand and perhaps much I may never ever fully understand, the preciousness of truth is the joy of knowing Him. Many days I wake up in the morning and I ponder over eternal truths. Perhaps the most fundamental truth - the very message and validity of the gospel. Seeing more and more that Christ, indeed, did pay the debt on the cross not out of obligation but because of an amazing thing called love.

I think about how undeserving I am, and perhaps one day when His glory is revealed, I imagine my face streaming with tears understanding much of what I can hardly even hit the surface now in knowing.

Brothers & sisters, I pray you will always be reminded of the very gospel we hold. That Christ died on that tree of Calvary as a propitiatory sacrifice. That we were spared from His wrath. And that He loves us…perhaps much more than we’ll ever know.

AM Gospel Service, London, November 9, 2008

Wow, it’s been some time since I wrote on this…

I find that many things in life you’ll forget..(the presentation you had last month, the greasy pizza you ate last week, the conversation about tipping cows the day before) but many things you also won’t forget…people, friendships, & this last week’s conference in Tampa. Perhaps what I realize I’m beginning to cherish most in my life is simply knowing Him more each day.

And indeed, how awesome it was to hear from those who have spent so much of their life pursuing God. Aside from the worship, the experience, and the immeasurable awesomeness of looking into apologetics, Old Testament’s significance, other worldviews (agnosticism, Islam, atheism, King Jamesism), there are three things that particularly stuck with me that I’d like to share with you all from the conference.

1. Battle for the Bible

I find  that it really is amazing looking into apologetics. The manuscripts, witnesses, the defense of the reliability of the New Testament & its inspiration, measuring it against any other work of antiquity. One thing I’ve realized is so many people will never look into this stuff. And though definitely this is not a requirement for one to know Christ, it certainly is an affirmation to what you believe in. It strengthens faith, and as with the significance of theology, it causes you to love Him more…

The best analogy I have for this (and as many of you know I don’t usually like giving analogies because I feel like they can undervalue the real truth) but just so to paint a picture… it’s like if someone told you the legacy of a father who loved you but you never grew up to know…and you spent so much of your life believing just in what that person told you about your father, and then you find evidence that affirms more and more of what you were told. That so many people wrote an account of your dad that was so intricately similar despite the odds of it being errant given the circumstances in that time, along with many other reasons. It would strengthen this love you have for your dad.

How much beauty can be found only brushing the surface of what’s given to us — that faith was never blind but saving faith. Probably what’s most sad, though, is those who don’t know Christ and don’t ever look into evidence for the Bible. Particularly atheists who ironically long for others to think for themselves, are led purely by passion against religion and never examine history or entertain any intellectual thought. As Robert Price would say himself, he believes most atheists are actually agnostic but just don’t know it or acknowledge it.

Lastly, the battle for the Bible in today’s generation where churches are forsaking expository teaching to please the traditions of man. In knowing His word, we must take it for what it is…and not try to change it for what we want to see of God. How many people of the 70% of America who say they’re Christians are being brought up in completely false doctrines and teachings and may never know if it themselves because they don’t look into the Word. I think my thoughts on this one though can be left to an entirely new post. One of these days…

2. God’s Sovereignty

Brothers & sisters, God’s Sovereignty…how amazing it is. I pray we’ll be reminded of what this means in all areas of our life. Because it means everything… At the conference, the audience was given a time for Q & A for the apologists/speakers. Standing before five great apologists was an unforgettable experience despite how nervous I felt. But the question I asked was one that really has boggled the minds of John and me.

My question to them was…given the inerrancy, infallibility, & inspiration of the Word given to us, how can it be that two people can look at the exact same text and have such a different interpretation? As in the case of Armenian and Calvinism. Both sides have Godly men who believe their interpretation is correct. How can someone like me know which interpretation is truth?

James White gave an answer that really hit home. He first laid out his thoughts of how perhaps He would allow such dissension (as even in the case of Paul and other Godly men back in the day) in each generation so that these truths would be even more precious to us. But the basics & fundamentals of the gospel should still be understood universally amongst true believers. His answer was much longer but in summary, it pointed back to God’s Sovereignty.

And how amazing it is to know more of His Sovereignty. That though our finite minds cannot even grasp much of who God is, the more we see His Sovereign grace & will, the more we realize how amazing His love is.

3. Life is going to be hard

I think the last thing were just thoughts I put together during the conference. But my question I’ve long struggled with was…why should we as believers continue in this faith if the more we know Him, the harder life seems to be? In other words, why not live a complacent, easy life and live in this joy of not having to be burdened…Why would Paul suffer so much for the gospel?

To illustrate this point is taking another leap over a pit of spikes, but I find that the more truths become real to us, indeed life seems to take its own toll of burdens. Though many times it’s almost impossible to explain, how often the burden is of sharing a heavy heart with an unbeliever, spending time in the Word, pondering over His will, pursuing Holiness over sin, or simply knowing Him more.  Why not lay down these burdens and live the party life…drink away those sorrows so thoughts can be drowned away, take that easy route and dismiss these uncertainties of our faith away, to never spend time in thought and pondering of Him.

My conclusion is this…that in the same way I believe in depravity & grace being made irresistible - for the only thing we’ll ever love of our flesh is sin and that grace had to be made irresistible for us to even know how to love Him, this is the very reason why theology matters. These burdens are hard…because it’s against our own flesh, but how He knows how much we need them to mold us, to shape us, and to find a joy we never can see of ourselves.

And to each, He’s given their own measure of faith so that the more we know Him, the more we can only praise Him.

Brothers & sisters, rejoice in your tribulations for tribulation brings about perseverance, rejoice in your sufferings…for suffering brings about perseverance, perseverance; character, and character - hope (Romans 5:3-5).

There’s still so much I don’t understand of who God is. But the joy of knowing Him more. I pray each of you will find and continue that joy in living that journey & relationship with Him.